Welcome back to another week of Bachelor in the Field of Love, a recap. Just getting you ready for tonight's episode with a recap of last week. And all the recaps before that if you have missed a few. Don't worry, I have you covered. But mostly I have just been gearing up for tonight's episode which is sure to be a real doozy because the girls are introduced to Iowa. And as my husband says every week when the girls say they want to go there with Chris, "NO ONE WANTS TO GO TO IOWA!" And I think tonight we will find out just how true that is. But first let's prep you for what has happened already.
We start the whole shebang with a rose ceremony. I know, it is pretty weird that the episode starts with a rose ceremony... but that is what has to happen because last episode ended with Kelsey breaking her hip. So scratch that. We don't start with a rose ceremony. We start with Kelsey on the bathroom floor. With lots of tears, an oxygen mask on her face, a comment about she better get a rose, and a request to see Chris when no one else gets to. And after the cries to Chris and says how she is worried talking about her dead husband would scare him away she jumps up and basically dances back to the ladies waiting on the couch. And she laughs a lot and talks about brownies. I don't know, it was all a blur.
NOW it is time for the rose ceremony. Basically it went like this... no surprise, no surprise, no surprise, and so on until it got to Alien lover, Samantha, KardAshley and Kelsey. And while I didn't feel like Samantha would make it I was really hoping she would over one of those crazies. ABut alas, nope. KardAshley and Kelsey walk away with the last two of the evening. It was only a matter of time before Mackenzie got the boot. And Samantha walks away without another word, which means she spoke a total of 3 sentences her whole time in the mansion. And now, let us be whisked away to South Dakota! SO fancy.
First one on one date. Goes to Becca! One of my tops. In fact, she pulls more into the lead every episode. A very chill date. Some horse riding. Some camp firing. Some Becca making fun of Farmer Chris' laugh - it is about time someone other than me notices he laughs like a freaking chipmunk! A kaboob that needed some meat in my husbands opinion and some really real conversation. Becca is so normal and I love it. They get to share their first kiss and Becca snags a rose.
Meanwhile, back at the mansion/hotel the girls confront Kelsey for all her crazy pills and broken hip to which she responds, "I get it. They hate me because I am smart and use big words." Wrong. Oh so wrong.
Group Date time. With a special appearance from Big & Rich! This date is all about singing and writing songs. The ladies spend the first bit writing songs to sing to Chris and watching Chris make out with Britt. As soon as that all wraps up - meaning the making out - you get to see Big & Rich hit on all the girls while helping them write their songs to sing. And then onto the song singing. Starting with Chris who is truly, truly terrible. Then one by one the ladies go - all decent - and then Cruise Singer Carly ROCKS it. Steals the shows and instantly all the girls wish they lived on a ship for the last year. After singing it is time to head to a cabinish and drink. And chat. And Chris can kiss everyone. Oh wait... and then he runs away with Britt? Yet - it can't be Chris' fault, he is an angel. It must be Britt and her lack of consideration for the women. But Britt gets a rose, a kiss, and a concert from Big & Rich with some stage time. And then when they come back to the girls Chris is confused why everyone is pissed. And this is the moment we truly realize how big of an idiot Prince Farming really is. Nearly everyone, starting with Chris, storms off in a different direction and tears are had. But wait. This episode gets better.
Enter the two on one date. To the Badlands. With crazy and crazier. Kardashley and Kelsey head off to meet Chris and Kelsey pretends Kardashley is not alive or even there, but she aint having any of that. First chance for one on one time she lets Farmer Chris know just how fake Kelsey is. And then what do you know? Chris proves himself to be an even bigger idiot by going and telling Kelsey what Kardashley said. Drama in the first 30 seconds. Kelsey storms back to join Kardashley on the desert bed - literally a bed in the desert - and stares. For probably 10 hours straight. Then follows with, "I know what you did." Awk.WArd. Then Kardashley storms back to Chris and says, "Why did you tell her!?" To which Chris responded, "She said it is because you are immature." And then sends her home. And as she starts crying I get worried that there are spiders crawling out of her eyes. Oh, nope. Mascara. And as she storms away in tears he goes to Kelsey. And she takes his "loss" as an opportunity to touch his chest, arm, and leg... well enjoy while you can. Because he is eliminating you next. And he did. He said, nope. No fit. Got in his helicopter. And flew away. Leaving Kardashley and Kelsey to battle in the Badlands for a ride home. Only one can survive.
Meanwhile back at the mansion the crew comes to take Kardashley's luggage first and all the girls are so sad. Because there goes the one person in the house they knew they could beat. Then a few minutes later they come and take Kelsey's luggage and the girls pop the bottles. Pull out the champagne. Ding dong the which is dead. Seriously. I have never seen such an elimination celebration in all my years.
Now normally this is where I would pick out my favorite cocktail dresses and share all my favorites. But at this point, ABC has totally screwed with my format by putting the rose ceremony at the beginning of next week's episode... reallly? So I will tell you this. My favorites still stand - Britt, Becca, and Whit. There are basically all great girls left - but some I love for reasons that dont mean matching with Chris. Basically I feel like they are all too good for a small town in Iowa. Sorry. Not sorry. What do you think? Who are your favorites? Are you ready for a DOUBLE whammy next week with two episodes on back to back nights? I know I am!