Here we go! Another week of Bachelor. I really love sharing these recaps because it helps refresh my memory for the upcoming episode. So in case you need a little extra reminder of what has been going on in Bachelor Nation you can check out Episode 2's recap before you read this week's! And away we go.
I missed the first few minutes of the episode because I was eating the most delicious pot roast that my friend Meg made. So basically all I know that happened is that the first date card went to Lauren B and the card read "The sky's the limit." Which makes sense because she loves airplanes... right?
Basically we kept enjoying our pot roast - guys, it was seriously so good - until they were walking to a hot tub in the field. Which brings you to the question - who the heck puts a hot tub in a field? Oh that's right. The Bachelor. Okay. Basically they just make out a lot and talk - and Lauren B talks about the kiss and how it was magical and something else and all of the above...
I just really don't like the way that Lauren B described that kiss. It felt weird. #TheBachelor
Even with that really weird description of their kiss I am a huge Lauren B fan. During this date she jumped into my top 3. She is just really normal, and I appreciate that about her. She also refers to how everything with Ben is just normal rather than talking about how much she loves him and wants to marry him and Ben could be her husband. The best part of the night was when Ben was talking about his parents and she said, "I want to meet your family... wait that was weird." Sold. Sold. Sold. I love her.
Okay - date is over. Back to the house for the next date card. "Love is the goal." And the invitees are Amanda, Haley, Jennifer, Shushana, Leah, Amber, Lauren H, Olivia, Jami, Rachel, Lace, and Emily. And while they are reading off all the names everyone in America is thinking....
I can't tell if I don't recognize these girls because they don't have makeup on or because they haven't gotten any airtime. #TheBachelor
Its like they are coming out of no where. But they have been there the whole time. Right? Okay. So goal. Soccer date. That is very obvious, right? The girls are trained by a few Team USA champs - in which they all prove to be less than impressive and they all talk about getting injured so they can sit on the sidelines with Ben. To which I say, STOP! I really hate it when girls play the stupid "weak woman" card. Get up and compete. That is way more cool. And you get a lot more respect from not only Ben and me, but the world. Am I right? And then Chris shows up - with what would be bad news. The losing soccer team doesn't get to come to the cocktail party that night. Shocker! I know. But not really. This exact thing happened on Juan Pablo's season.
The girls are ready to roll. Pumped. Yelling. Cheering. And the game begins. Basically Twin goalie is rocking it. And Jami is a beast. And then all the sudden Racehl gets hurt, twin goalie starts missing things, and Olivia decides to take advantage of it and has an assist to Amber and team Olivia, Lace, and drama wins! Perfect. The best cocktail party is about to happen. Basically the cocktail party can be summed up like this - Olivia takes Ben first and goes somewhere private and personal. All the girls get really mad and start trash talking about her toes. Someone tells her she has ugly toes - remember that part, it is important for later. Amber gets her first one on one time and first kiss and her first rose. And Lace is crazy.
Next up is the final one on one date. In which there are only a few options and Jubilee is crying saying she isn't his type - which is awkward. And then of course, she gets the date card, "Love is in the air." While she goes to pack up all the girls are shocked and like whhhhat? So Jubilee goes to pack and put on her velor white sweatsuit - keyyyyute. And Ben shows up and she tells him he is late. And I instantly feel uncomfortable. Then they go to catch a helicopter and she says she is scared and who would like to take her date. Then they go on their date and she pretends she is hard to get. And then she spits out the fancy foods because she likes hot dogs. And basically this sums up the date....
Jubilee spent the first minutes of their date making him feel bad and then the second part telling him what's wrong with him. #TheBachelor
And everyone in America is thinking Jubilee is going home. Even the girls at the mansion are thinking that because we get a little sneak peek. While all the awkwardness is happening with Jubilee and Ben we get to hear the cats at the mansion over and over. But I know that Jubilee is going to let her guard down and tell her why she is slightly weird and Ben has a tender heart and will give her a rose. And just as I am explaining that to my people, it happens. And Jubilee has a rose. The next morning back at the house all the girls are shockkkkked. But shockkkkker. Welcome to Bachelor. Why are people always surprised by the weird things that happen? I don't understand.
That night the cocktail party starts on a sad note - two very important people in Ben's life have passed away in a plane crash. And he wants everyone to know that so there can be meaning and compassion throughout their conversations. And Olivia is first - this is where the toes comes in - and apparently the toe talk from earlier in the week really got to her. Because instead of talking to Ben about all the things going on in his life... she starts crying about her cankles. Clip away to Ben in the confessional - "This is just not what I want to talk about."
The rest of the cocktail party is all small talk until Jubilee pulls out her massage table. "Hi producers, can you set that up over where the girls can see if they look but not really see if they aren't looking for Ben?" And while Jubilee is doing something nice for Ben all the girls get really mad because she already has a rose. And then they decide to call her out. And she doesn't feel like girl drama. And then she goes upstairs to be sad that girls suck and Ben follows her. And then Amber also feels it is important to come up and make herself look like an idiot in front of Ben by whining - good thing she already had a rose or she would be long gone. And I can sum up this whole rose ceremony with these words which were said over and over at our house, "I just feel really bad for Ben right now."
Onto the rose ceremony. Lace decides that like her tattoo says she needs to lover herself first before she can love Ben and that is why she is acting so weird and excuses herself from the competition. I think she knew she was finally going home and so she decided to do it on her own. And all the drama comes down to whether or not Olivia is getting a rose. Which you would think after only talking about her cankles would be a not, but the producers just left her name for last in Ben's earpiece. We get at least one more week of the largest mouth ever. So going home tonight is self eliminated Lace, cat lady Jami - she went on and on about not being able to trust people only cats it was all very weird, and Russian Shushana.
Best dresses for the rose ceremony go to Lauren H, Becca, Caila, and what would have been Olivia if her dress wasn't an awkward two piece cut. Has anyone noticed how the cocktail party has gotten more and more casual feeling as far as dress? Do you think that is just because of budgets of women attending the show or something producer directed?
My favorites are Lauren B, Lauren H, Caila, Amanda, and always Becca.
There you have it! An episode three recap and now you are all ready for tonight's episode. Who are you cheering for?