The Bachelor Season 20: Episode 9

3.14.2016

I am taking us back two weeks today for two reasons. First. I didn't get it done last week. Embrace it, move on. Second. The Women Tell All was just a bunch of girls being mean and bratty and I don't feel like that episode validated a post from me because basically what I would say is Leah is mean and the twins are mean and the whole night was eyes rolling and calling people out. That pretty much summed it up. So let's go all the way back to when there was an episode that wasn't a bunch of pretty women sitting around trash talking.


Ben and Chris enjoying the calm before the storm. Because a serious crap storm is about to come Ben's way. And then it gets to be relived as we all watch the episode at home. And then relived at Women Tell All. And then relived through every blog post, tweet, and rewatch... Sorry Ben. I am contributing.

First date goes to Caila. Once again, I can remember basically nothing from their date. I am sure it was a lot of awkwardness because I feel like that is how every date is with them, and yet somehow he selects her again every time. Caila said she loved him. They utilized the fantasy suite. The end. I don't have much else to say about their date.


Next up is Lauren. And Ben wearing shorty shorts. Is that a thing now? I don't get it. Their date started with a little service project. They are so cute always out there doing good for the world. They went to help baby turtles on their journey to the ocean. Baby turtles are probably the cutest thing in the world. And I am in love with them forever. But okay. Back to their date. After service and canoodling they went to dinner and Lauren told Ben she loved him. And PLOT TWIST - not really, because ABC already basically told us - Ben said it back. And in my mind I am like wait what? I thought that was against the rules. And then they went off to the fantasy suite. And Ben said I love you back to Lauren a billion more times.


Next up was Jojo's date. They started with a trip to the waterfalls. And somehoe Jojo's itty bitty swimming suit did not fall off when jumping into the water. Did she have that thing super-glued on or what? After some swimming and making out in the water they sit down to chat. And PLOT TWIST - Jojo told Ben she loved him. And PLOT TWIST - not really, because ABC already basically told us - Ben said it back. And in my mind I am like wait what? I thought that was against the rules. Yes. I said the same thing twice because I thought it both times. And now I am furious because Ben just told two women he loved them. Then Jojo and Ben hit the fantasy suite.


Now Ben is all alone at his very scenic hotel room and has to contemplate what he just did. He told two women he loved them and America hates him for it. The thing that makes me mad is now both of these women - not knowing what happened to the other - thinks that it is in the bag. And that they will be marrying Ben because he said I love you. And you don't just say I love you to two people at one time. A storm is a brewing.


Oh yeah.... what about Caila? She is still in this thing and decided she wanted to see Ben one more time because she just loves him so much and misses him. She did have the very first date after all. She is so excited to surprise Ben while he is contemplating what he should do because he loves two women - one not being Caila. And all of America cringes as she tries to sneak up and be so cute. All of America is also probably wondering when swimsuits became acceptable outing apparel.


And once again, just like Leah, the woman regrets surprising Ben. Because he sends her home. He says he just couldn't say I love you back and that was it. Just kidding. That wasn't it. Caila stops the car driving her away to get out and demand an explanation from Ben. Which is more emotion than I have seen from her all season. This might be the first night I actually like her. Okay - side note. Did you hear she was going to be the Bachelorette? I am not sure I am pumped about that. I hope it is just a rumor and not fact. Thoughts?

Now it is time for the two women to go to the rose ceremony - not realizing one was already shipped away. Chris Harrison is looped in that both women got an "I love you" back from Ben. And to which I can only imagine he is thinking, "That is breaking contract... and they both told me. Awkward." What do you think his face is saying?


From there Jojo and Lauren wait for Ben. And both of them are probably thinking "He called me first because he loves me," or "He called me second because he loves me." And they are both looking at the other thinking this poor girl doesn't know what he even said to me. But then it cuts away to interviews and I think Lauren B has a much more realistic grasp on things as she shares he might have said that to Jojo. Cue the most awkward hug and champagne toast of my life.


The world's most awkward hug. And then there were two. However, we know Ben loves them both and we know Ben selected on and is happily engaged. Even after she sees all the crap he pulled in the last episode. So who do you think it will be? Most of the world is saying Jojo - but I am saying Lauren. Excited to hear your thoughts after tonight!
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